When the Universe Stops Bothering with Subtlety


I’ve had messages sent directly to me from Universe Headquarters before, but it’s been a long time since the Universe abandoned all subtlety and just whacked me upside the head to get me to listen.

Within the last few days, I had three things happen to me that reinforced the message that I need to slow down NOW. It wasn’t until I was trying to breathe through the third one that it occurred to me that perhaps I needed to pay more attention to the wisdom that was trying desperately to reach me.

Message #1: First the air pump on the socket of my prosthetic leg—which creates a suction to keep my prosthesis attached to the rest of me—stopped working properly. It declined slightly in efficiency and then rapidly, refusing to form a solid seal. Thankfully, my awesome prosthetist—shout out to the outstanding Charlie and fabulous Jen at Anchor Prosthetics by the Bay—was able to squeeze me in for an urgent appointment and loan me a spare pump until such time as Venus is in retrograde, the moon is full, and my insurance decides it has all 37 signatures required to buy me a new one.

Message #2: I rode my Ninebot (like a smaller, lighter Segway) over to a meeting across campus. I noticed that it had only 3 (of 8) bars of battery power left, but I figured that it would get me there and back, and then I could recharge it. Wrong. Two bars remained when I hopped aboard. About a quarter of the way back to my office, it went from two bars to none in about ten seconds. The Ninebot started beeping wildly at me and then  shut itself off while I was still riding it. I went flying off and landed flat on my back. My pride was hurt worse than my back, as a kind student stopped to help me stand up. A call to the Communication Department office secured further help, in the form of my awesome admin/goddess Helen, who sent a student running over with the Ninebot plug from my office, so I could recharge my battery in the nearest building until I could safely ride.

Message #3: Hurrying to my car to make an off-campus lunch meeting, I arrived to find that an unbelievably thoughtless, selfish person had parked his car behind mine—with the engine still running and hazard lights on—at the end of the lot, in between two rows of parked cars, effectively blocking four cars from being able to move, presumably because there were no empty spaces nearby. I was incredulous. After testing my capacity for creative constructions of profanity, I started muttering the “serenity prayer” through clenched teeth, demanding divine serenity to accept the things I cannot change. “Yeah, like accepting selfish jerks who park behind my car—who does that?!” I yelled uselessly into my windshield. After laying on the horn intermittently to no avail, I was dialing campus security to request a tow truck when a young man in a suit walked casually out of a building.

“Is this your car?” I screeched at him after he noticed me glaring out my window and made eye contact.

“I only had to run in quickly. Sorry,” he said, not sounding nearly as sorry I wanted to make him be.

So to recap, as I tried to race through my hectic, end-of-the-quarter madhouse of grading, meetings, and numerous deadlines, I found myself unable to pump enough air, out of battery power, and completely unable to move my car.

Hmmmmmmm, I finally thought. Could there be a lesson for me here?!

Slowing down and limiting the number and rate of projects I commit to isn’t my biggest strength, to put it mildly. But even I have limits, and the Universe let me know for sure that this week, I have reached mine.

Time for deep breaths, dark chocolate, gratitude, and, if not serenity, at least some prioritizing of my to-do list.

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